Did We Just Have Sex? by Lynda 10/18/18
On May 5th, 2018 my life threw us a curve ball that could not be explained nor would anyone be able to tell me things I could do that would prevent another occurrence.
My day started out with routine helping my clients with their showers etc. When I got home my husband and I were in a romantic mood and there began a journey for both of us we will not soon forget.
Being in our late 60’s, anytime this event happens is time for rejoicing at a successful outcome. This is our favorite form of exercise. My husband and I were cuddling very happily when he started telling me things we needed to do today. Filling the bird feeders was on top of the list. I had no idea what he was talking about and thought this would be a new adventure for both of us but once he figured out I really had NO IDEA what he was talking about he got scared. After further questioning me, I realized I could not remember anything he was talking about. All attempts at jogging my memory were failing.
My husband started checking me for a stroke, the smile, touching my nose, holding my arms up etc…all of which indicated no stroke. I started in with my own questions that he would answer repeatedly for the next 4-5 hours.
1. Did we just have sex?
2. Was it good?
3. Where is Emmy? (our dog, I have no idea)
My husband was terrified as he drove us to the ER 40+ miles away. He patiently answered my questions over and over. He asked me questions that I could not answer which terrified me. It made me realize how terrifying it must be to have Alzheimer’s.
Now I could write a book a detailed about our adventure in a small rural area in the medical field but I think most likely it would be best saved for another time. When we arrived the first question that was asked of me was “why are you here”? Our answer was we thought I was having a stroke. Next question….what were you doing? The answer obviously set the stage for immediate concern with a huge jolt of smiles among the staff. My husband got a lot of thumbs up from the guys and the ladies walked by smiling. We over heard so many comments of “aren’t they just the cutest”? I just don’t think I am old enough to be cute again.
EKG’s, CAT scans with and without contrast, blood pressure and blood tests were all coming back normal. Soon it was suggested I go by ambulance to a larger city over 250 miles away. By then my memory was starting to come back just a little bit with the help of my husband taking out pictures he had taken of our bird outing the day before.
The Doc in charge could only find a 50-60% blockage in my ceratoid artery which already was showing progress after changing my daily routine. That was far lower than it had been. While the signs of a stroke are readily apparent, nothing resembling a stroke of any kind stroke showed up.
I was released with the promise we would go to the closest hospital the next day 100 miles away for a MRI and an Echocardiogram.
It was a long and scary night we shared in each other’s arms but the next morning we got up and left on the next leg of our journey.
Those test results came out negative as well but our fear allowed them to convince us I had a TIA and I needed surgery to remove the blockage in my ceratoid. The Doc there prescribed 80mg’s per day of Simvastatin and out of fear for my health I started taking that immediately. Out of fear, we made that appointment with the vascular surgeon and a neurosurgeon.
I could not get into to see the Neuro until 2 months later but the vascular guy had me in and surgery scheduled for 2 days later. I only had at best a 60% blockage which there is arguments either way to do it and not do it.
I was totally exhausted, confused, had a very hard time forming sentences, my focus was off, the short term memory was apparently gone, my balance was off, a nagging headache around the top of my head persisted but what most likely saved me from a lot more issues was the fact I seemed to have lost ALL my filters. What did come to mind came out my mouth. Now my family and close friends would say I never had filters but I know I did…..to a degree. I decided to see my neuro before the surgery so I cancelled the surgery and told the vascular surgeon I would wait. Well let me tell you, losing the surgery was motivational so he personally called my neuro and I saw her the next day.
The Angels were smiling on me and my husband and off we went for another 300 mile round trip jaunt. (Note; had we took all the miles traveled for this, we would have been on a beach)
This lady asked us so many questions, actually took the time to review that findings of each procedure along the way. She asked about migraines, which I have had in the past. She asked my husband a lot of questions about my behavior during this event. We asked a lot of questions as well. She looked at both of us and saw the fear we had in our eyes. Then she said something I will never forget, ”I think I know what is wrong and what happened but I have absolutely no medical proof to back me up”!
She left the office and came back with a pile of papers reflecting what the Mayo Clinic had on Transient Global Amnesia. She went on to tell us all of my symptoms indicate a TGA not a TIA. The biggest problem is the fact TGA is a rare occurrence and the event itself is easily misdiagnosed. Larger cities often have medical personnel that can recognize a TGA, but that is not always the case even then. When I asked her if she recommended I have the surgery, she flat said she was not going to win a popularity contest but no as long as I was committed to changing my life style, no. Changes had already been in place for months. She also recommended I lower the Simvastatin and with all the horrible side effects that came with that drug, I have chosen more natural solutions that have proved beneficial.
She also recommended I go on Facebook and find a support group to assist both my husband and I and that most likely this would never happen again.
I have since had a couple of minor TGA events both with a witness, my husband, and by myself. They may have been “minor” because we were able to recognize what was happening and knew how to deal with it faster. No we have no intentions of heading off to the ER and go through the expense with the faulty healthcare we have in the US. Therein lies the problem of not recording more events for future study of the whys, how comes and how can I prevent this?
This group has helped me move forward with adjusting my train of thought. Apparently my "smart ass" tendencies were what my family and friends missed the most about me after my TGA event. It was said over and over it was like my inner light went out. Considering I had my TGA after a wondrous sexual encounter with my husband at "your age", their laughter and jokes made me cry. That left everyone sad.
As time progresses, I encourage patience with yourself and your “witness”. It was terrifying to them as well. Moving forward can be hard to do because of the self-doubt, lack of focus, word searching, fear.....the list just goes on, but surrounding yourself with the survivors that share our rare experience has helped me so much. If you are tired, take a nap. If you are sad, take a walk outside to see all the blessings before you. When anxious, breathe into the count of 8 and breathe out to the count of 8. Treat yourself to a nice bath with Epsom salts, baking soda and your choice of essential oil like lavender. I know I would not be able to share in the jokes and laughter as I do now without you and this wonderful group of comrades. There is no sense in dwelling on this in fear because life has so much more to offer and I don’t want to miss out on the magic nor do I want you to miss out either.
Now when I am trying to reestablish our sex life and my husband wrinkles his brow and asks “If I fuck your brains out again, do you want me to take you to the hospital again?”
My response is immediate, “Hell no, just pray I remember the orgasms this time.”
Who needs filters??