This is my testimony of having TGA events. More accurately, it is my testimony of what others tell me about having TGA events. I have had 8 in the last two years; have been in the ER 3 times and hospitalized twice. These events started when I was 68 years old. My first TGA was after I had spent one night on a silent retreat at a monastic abbey. In the morning a monk approached me and told me that the abbey had been infested with bedbugs and guests would have to leave. I was startled, but I gathered my things and drove to Gettysburg National Park. For 2 hours nonstop, I hiked; I spent the rest of the weekend in a motel. A few days later I had my first event.  

     I am a retired Presbyterian minister who still preaches as a pulpit supply preacher 1 – 2 times a month. Twice I have been unable to preach because of TGA. Five months ago, I was on a trip to Ireland when I had my 7th event. Along with fellow travelers, we were at Dun Aengus, where I lay on my stomach to look over a sheer cliff 300 feet straight down to the Atlantic Ocean. Afterward, I had a TGA. It was a “vacation of a lifetime.”  Disappointingly, there are places now that I cannot remember even as I look at photos I took.

     Whenever I have these TGA experiences I have to rely on what others tell me because I mentally go blank and am unable to form any short-term memories, which I understand is their hallmark. I ask the same questions over and over; I appear confused and clearly not myself to people who know me best. After an episode, I pull out unrelated and ridiculous reasons why I must have been away a long time; I must have been on a trip, I say. I am not aware at the time but I am acutely aware 24- 48 hours afterward that I have experienced something that has disrupted my life and which leaves its cognitive footprints for weeks and months afterward.  Some cognitive abilities, once sharp, are now fuzzy. Distant life memories have become cloudy and slow to return. Names of people, a timeline of life events, and my general well-being have been affected. I fear one day I will be diagnosed with dementia, although that has been clearly ruled out with neuropsychological testing. I still have a fear of it.

     Because I live alone and my two adult children live away, I am currently researching retirement communities, something I thought was in the distant future. Living in a community will reduce the trips to an ER; I can alert others ahead of time to what might occur.

     I am forced to wonder when or if I will have another event. For all the above, I hate TGA.

     There is an important definition of TGA that eases my mind a bit. It is the description written by James Moore in Rare Disease News that TGA is a “highly unusual and rare neurological disorder … the cause remains more or less a mystery.”  This is significant news. TGA is not psychological and I did not cause these TGA episodes. There is a great deal of comfort for me in learning this.

     There have been some positive and significant consequences of having had TGA events. One was the recommendation to receive psychological therapy. This has benefited me greatly. The second positive has been changes in behavior to reduce triggers.  Since my most recent event, I now take a rest during the day, I meditate, and I listen to a guided meditation exercise before bedtime. These all have lessened tension headaches, stress, and they promote deep relaxation. They have all benefited me: since I began incorporating them in my day, I have not had another event. I am very hopeful that these all work!